There’s a popular saying I’ve often heard: “Colleagues are not your friends.” It’s usually said with an air of caution, as if forming real bonds at work is risky or unprofessional. But as someone who is naturally friendly, curious, and outgoing, I’ve never been able to fully accept this notion.
Why do we have to suppress our authentic selves just to “fit in” at work? Why do friendliness and professionalism have to be treated as opposites?
I’ve worked in teams across cultures and geographies, and I’ve come to believe that fostering healthy friendships in the workplace is not only possible — it’s essential. We spend one-third of our lives at work. That’s too long a time to keep our guards up or to walk on eggshells around people we spend most of our day with.
Yes, boundaries are important. We should be mindful not to bring personal baggage into professional decisions, and not every colleague needs to become a confidante. But building genuine connections can humanize our workplace. It leads to better collaboration, more open communication, and increased loyalty. Gallup research supports this — employees who have a best friend at work are more engaged, productive, and committed to their company’s success.
In fact, many companies now promote the idea of “psychological safety” — a term coined by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson — which refers to an environment where people feel safe to be themselves, voice their thoughts, and show vulnerability. It’s no surprise that organizations that foster such cultures often outperform those that don’t.
I’ve seen firsthand how friendships at work can make us more resilient during stressful projects, help us celebrate wins with genuine joy, and allow us to support each other during rough patches — both personally and professionally. These relationships aren’t about crossing lines; they’re about understanding the people behind the roles.
Of course, not every colleague will become a friend, and that’s okay. But to treat the idea as taboo or unwise? That’s a disservice to the power of human connection.
Being professional should not be mistaken for being distant. There is a fine balance — and when done right, that balance creates a workplace that feels less like a battlefield of egos and more like a community of people growing together.
So next time someone says “colleagues aren’t your friends,” maybe ask — why not?
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